just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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