I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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