so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
