Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
