If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
