I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
