so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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