proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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