Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
false alarm. still invincible.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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