don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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