bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
