Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You ruined the universe
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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