I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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