i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
