Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
