My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize