dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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