i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm like, not good at living.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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