is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
