ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
