One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
