I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
