The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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