week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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