i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Someone shattered a urinal.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
