I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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