im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
