I need help removing her.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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