I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
