? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Randomize
