Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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