even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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