What a fucking waste of an outfit
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
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He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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