In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
