dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
