Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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