Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
