Dignity is for republicans.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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