I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
