i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
