U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
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