East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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