Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
