Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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