Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
