come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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