I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
