You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
