You can't motorboat a personality
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
ttyl tear gas
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
