Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
