This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
