This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
