My balls are so social today.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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