# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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