i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
