I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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