The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
be right there i have to get my cape
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
