Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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