Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
