school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
