Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
