Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
