It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
