Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Your cock deserves a montage
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
